


Can't Help But Miss You

by apollosam



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Stanford Era, implied eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 00:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2088030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollosam/pseuds/apollosam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam can't help but think about Dean with everything he does at Stanford.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Help But Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to tumblr first. Not beta read so any mistakes are all completely my fault ~~because I'm dumb~~. Come chat with me on [tumblr](http://royalwinchesters.tumblr.com) (:

_“Sam  please don’t go, forget Dad, okay? Just me and you, yeah?”_

_“Sorry Dean, I-I can’t stay here.” The ‘as much as I want to be with you’, left unspoken. Sam turns his back to Dean, taking a deep breath before walking towards a bus stop. Hopefully one is stopping at the greyhound station._

_“Sam? Sam!”_

_Dean’s begging and pleading never leaves his mind once._

 

**~*~ January 1st, Midnight ~*~**

 

With everyone cheering and partying, Sam kinda wants to sulk in his dorm room, working on homework.

His friends dragged him out despite his protests, now he’s outside nursing a beer by himself, thinking about Dean.

Sam almost called Dean earlier, but he figured Dean wouldn’t want to talk to him after Sam left him with all of his barriers torn down.  

He remembers the promise they made last New Year’s, and he wants to punch himself for it. Too mad at their father and so done with the hunting life back then to remember such an important promise.

 

_“Promise me something Sammy,” Dean had said._

_“Of course Dean, what is it?”_

_“No matter what, we have each other’s back, and you’re always by my side, got it?”_ Which had translated into,  _Don’t leave me, ever._

 

Sam chugged the rest of his beer, tossing the empty bottle into a nearby trashcan, and started walking away from the sorority house. He just wanted to go home.

 

**~*~ January 24th, 5p.m ~*~**

 

 

Sam finally musters up the courage to call Dean.

 

Turns out the phone's been deactivated.

He fumbles with the device in hands a couple times before flopping back onto his bed.

“Happy birthday Dean,” Sam sighs, staring at his phone in disappointment.

 

**~*~ February 14th, 2a.m ~*~**

 

 

_“It’s alright Sammy, ‘s just a scratch.”_

_“Dean you’re covered in blood! And where’s Dad?!”_

_“’S okay S-Sam… it’s ‘kay…”_

_“Dean!”_

 

Sam jolts awake, sweat coating his forehead. He runs a hand over his face and through his hair.

Their Valentine’s Day had been awkward to say the least after Dean fainted. Sam had run on an empty tank of energy taking care of Dean.

Dad showed his face around dinner time, bottle of whiskey in hand.

_“’M sorry Sam, I’ll make today up to you. I promise,”_  Dean told him once Dad shut himself in the bathroom.

Sam didn’t sleep much after that; his dream stuck on repeat in his head.

 

When morning classes came around, he made sure to drink quite a bit of coffee.

 

**~*~ May 2nd, 3:45p.m ~*~**

 

 

Heading back to his dorm from classes, Sam pulls out his phone to see if he missed any calls or messages from Dean. Surely he would call with a working number for Sam.

The reasonable side of his brain knows if Dean wanted to, he would’ve called by now.

 

Sam tried his best to be happy when his friends took him out for his birthday, but he couldn’t get rid of the lost and heartbroken feeling spreading in his chest.

 

**~*~ June 17th, 8p.m ~*~**

 

 

Sam finds an old picture of them at Lake Michigan while organizing his closet space.

 

He eats a light dinner that evening.

 

**~*~ July 4th, 11:35p.m ~*~**

 

 

Sam snuck away from his friends to go to his rooftop hideout he had found one day. Fireworks aren’t the same without Dean.

 

After the light show, Sam eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to make up for missing dinner.

 

**~*~ August 1st, 12:20p.m ~*~**

 

“Hey Sam, me and a couple of our friends are going to see that new horror film tonight so would you like to go with us?” Jess asks him after their study date at some late night diner came to a close.

Originally Sam hadn’t wanted to go on the date, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Dean and remembering memories like their first kiss or the greatest blowjob Sam’s ever gotten the entire time messing around with Dean (to which Sam jerked off to in the shower).

“No thanks Jess, I still have a lot to study for,” Sam says, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe another time.”

“Oh. Yeah of course. See ya, Sam.”

He left her there to pack up alone; he felt guilty sure, but it felt worse of possibly going behind Dean’s back. Sam knows it shouldn’t matter anymore since Dean hasn’t made any attempt to contact him, but he can’t shake the wrong feeling he gets when around Jess.

 

When he arrives at the door to his room, he noticed it left ajar. Sam locked it before he went with Jess.

Silently placing his backpack on the floor, Sam pulls out his pocket knife, flipping the blade out.

He eases into the pitch black room, free hand groping for the light switch.

When Sam finds it, he nearly drops his knife in surprise to what the light reveals.

_“Dean?”_

“Hey baby boy, miss me?”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'll continue, this was mainly for funsies and venting purposes. Inspiration: [♪](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsaaHSQF3fo)


End file.
